He wants me! Yay!

Just felt like posting the newest development in my lil Zachy boy! He's started wanting to be in my arms rather than others now :D Hehe..!

So this is how it happened. You see, his grandmoms love to hold him (which is obvious!). But yesterday when he saw me while my Mom was holding him, he started to bend towards me and making "Mmmhhh mmmhh" sounds! I thought it may be a simple coincidence.. After all, he's not even 4 months yet.

But then today when my hubby's Mom was holding him, I walked over to him and asked him, "Bacha, do you want to come to Mumma?" And LO N BEHOLD! He bent over towards me and made the same sound! Yippppeee!!

You know, when a child is born, you expect the child to hug you and kiss you and tell you he loves you. Well, nothing could be further from reality. A child knows the mother by the sound of her voice and her scent, but doesn't really know how to show affection. So when he was born, there I was in the hospital with my little baby in the cradle next to me, and my baby decided to look at everyone except me! How sad! But I'm so happy he's finally beginning to show signs of affection :)

And I know perhaps someday, I will wish he'd go to someone else's arms for a change, but today I'm a veryyyy happyyy mommyyyy :D

My Story

I love stories! So I decided to share the story of how I came to be a mother.

It all started in 2010 when we celebrated our first wedding anniversary. We wanted a baby soon, and were hoping I would hear good news of pregnancy in a few months. But when 6 months passed, I remember thinking something was wrong with me and decided that I should go visit a doctor. The doctor had me checked and said there was nothing wrong and I should keep expecting and not be tense.

The harrowing visit to the doctor and the blood tests had me very upset, and I was sad to the point of opening my Bible to the well known story of Hannah, who was unable to have a child for many years. In her desperation she had asked God to give her a son so that her reproach could be taken away., and she would give the son back to God to serve Him all his life. I echoed the prayer that night in my sadness of desperately wanting a child and feeling inadequate to have one.

Time passed, and soon it was the month of August in 2011. I was in Hyderabad with my husband, attending the wedding of my very good friend. There we met a friend of hers, who is a prophet of God. He met us after the ceremony and told us that God was telling us that He will give us a baby and we will have a baby boy in our arms in a year and a half. He added, that God specially wanted me to know, that there was nothing wrong with me! That drove me to tears, because it was a gentle reminder that God cares about ALL our thoughts, and He doesn't want us to condemn ourselves for anything.

As per my calculations, I decided that I must be pregnant by March 2012, to have that baby in my arms in the year and half period that he had mentioned. And I did get pregnant! But alas, that baby didn't make it to our arms. He died in my womb after three months. We were shattered! We didn't know what to do, and what to expect next. I remember myself cleaning up the house corner to corner, hoping that I would succeed cleaning up the sad thoughts in my heart as well. I would stand and cry, sit and cry, walk around the house and cry.... Our friends fixed up a little holiday for us in Khandala so that we could rest and come back feeling better (perhaps!). On the drive there, I was absolutely inconsolable. I cried and cried, and that day I prayed to God and asked Him to heal my broken heart. On the way there, God spoke to me through a Bible verse -

Isaiah 61:3

To all who mourn in Israel,
    he will give a crown of beauty for ashes,
a joyous blessing instead of mourning,
    festive praise instead of despair.
In their righteousness, they will be like great oaks
    that the Lord has planted for his own glory.

This verse seemed to put new life in my heart, and I sang a song to God that day which said, "You have made me glad, I'll say of the Lord - Your are my shield, my strength, my portion, deliverer, my shelter, strong tower, my very-present help in times of need" God had healed my pain and I was able to get back home with new hope in my heart.

Six months down the line, I became pregnant. This time around, I was very anxious about the well being of the baby, but he kept growing and becoming stronger everyday! Finally in September 2013, we held our dear son in our arms, with tears in our eyes. As a memorial to God's faithfulness, we named him John Zach Abraham. John - 'God is gracious' and Zach - 'God remembered'. 

Its true - God never forgets what He promises.

A Changed Life

You know, when you're a mom, you're not the same carefree, free-spirited woman you once could be as a wife, or as a single woman. Life takes on a 180 degree turn and everything changes, literally EVERYTHING. Gone are the days when I could go Christmas shopping at the drop of a hat, or when I could go on a date with Aby without having to worry about where to leave my baby, or when I could sit and eat my lunch with no interruptions. Ah well, you get the picture I guess.

The single thought that hit me, was, "Will I be able to live my life like this forever??" Well, its amazing that even though being a parent is more and more responsibility as the days go by... Its still such an amazing privilege! Each day, when I am tired and don't think I can stay up another hour, I see my little one cooing and smiling at me, that lights up my life! It really does. When I see him doze off in my arms, I think maybe he feels, 'my mommy's arms are the safest place on Earth'; or maybe he just loves the warmth of a hug.. At the end of the day, parents are everything to a little helpless baby, and I'm grateful to God for trusting Aby and I to be given this precious baby to take care of, and bring up, and love and cherish.

We're dedicating him this Sunday, i.e. 15th December 2013. Its the day we vow before God, that we will love this him, and bring him up to love Jesus. The day we publicly declare, that he belongs to God first, and then to us. The day we pray and ask God to protect him from all evil and commit his life to Him.

I love you, lil Zachy Packy! :)

Daddy Dearest

One of the biggest things that change about you when you become a mom, is that you begin to love someone far more than you have ever loved yourself. At least that's what happened to me. Your heart thuds with anticipation each time you hold your little bundle... Each time he cries, your mind starts racing, looking for reasons he might be uncomfortable and seeking to put him at ease....

The next best thing that happens, is you begin to see your husband in a new light. Suddenly you see not just a 'lover', but a 'father'. A new protective nature emerges, and it fills your heart with pride. When you see him come back home tired from work and still be willing to help you with the baby, you fall in love with him all over again! When you see him hold your baby and his eyes light up with love, the feeling unparalleled.

So here's a few shots of both of them enjoying this new 'father-son' bond :)

 

New Mum On The Blog

Its been ages since I've blogged, and especially now that I'm a first time mom! Of course, lack of sleep and time come with the territory...but I decided, whether time or no time, I must write down my experiences as a mom, and leave something behind for my son to read when he grows up... Here goes!

So here's my son, John Zach Abraham. I'm telling you, there is no greater miracle on Earth than the birth of a child. Despite feeling all the movements in your womb, you can't really believe there's a child in there, till you see him! Anyway, when this blessing arrived into our arms, we were absolutely overwhelmed, clueless, happy, excited, nervous and the blown-out!

So just letting you know Zachy-Packy, Daddy n Mommy love you!! You are our greatest blessing! Mwah!